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Due to a variety of factors (see entries for: Allergies, I hates them and My life, fuck it) I’ve been on a elimination diet for the past week and change. This elimination diet essentially means I can’t eat… well, anything fun. Basically, if you’ve ever craved it, I can’t eat it.*

This has, actually, been going well. Except for a few moments of hallucinating that R was turning into a walking, talking slice of pepperoni pizza** a la a Bugs Bunny cartoon, I’ve managed to keep the cravings at bay.*** However, I will still, on occasion, bitch to R via text when I feel like I’m going to lose my damn fool mind if I don’t have a giant chunk of lasagna right fucking now. Hence the following text exchange:

M: I would kill someone, anyone, for a taste of cheddar right now.
R: I think that’s an Ol’ Dirty Bastard line.

Well played, R. Well played.

* I almost wish there were a god so I could thank him, her or it for the fact that gin does not contain the allergens I am supposed to avoid. It’s ambrosia with a dash of lime right now.
** Roasted chicken is one of the few foods I can eat, which means I don’t have to be a dry-docked version of the cartoon-guy-starving-in-a-life-raft cliche.
*** I will fully admit that on my calendar Friday, September 28th (the day I can introduce my first food of choice and see if I react) does actually have “Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!” written on it, though. God damn I miss dairy.