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Dear Mom:

For Mother’s Day this year, I got you a card and accidentally mailed it to myself.

I just want you to know that this moment of total idiocy in no way reflects the quality of your parenting. Instead, think of it as solid proof that IQ tests are a very poor reflection of actual, functional intelligence. I’ll call you later, after I manage to burn the house down making tea.

Love,

MJ

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