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A short list of the things I’ve walked into this past week:

1. The kitchen counter
2. My bed
3. A piece of shelving by my boss’s desk
4. The coffee table
5. A puzzle rack at work
6. That same piece of shelving by my boss’s desk, again*
7. A bike rack
8. A doorknob
9. A goddamned wall

I need to note that these are all items that I walk by regularly, and have walked by regularly for the past six months. None of them have been moved recently.

I think I need to look into a padded suit and a helmet if I want to see my thirtieth birthday.

*And I hit the same fucking spot on my leg both times, really, really hard. The bruise actually swelled, for fuck’s sake. I didn’t know they could do that.