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I really don’t like April Fools’ Day. Yes, some of the jokes are fantastically clever, but the good gags are overshadowed by all the un-funny and kind-of-funny people deciding that it will be absolutely hilarious to try some sort of lame, played-out practical joke. In an effort not to have some terrible attempt at a gotcha! post, I’ve instead decided to do this one Mad Libs style. As my parts-of-speech grammar is pretty rusty, this will either go well or fail spectacularly. Let’s begin.

Fill out the following, then replace in the paragraph below. I’ve bolded the numbers in the paragraph for you to make insertion easier. Feel free to post what you’ve come up with in the comments.

1. adjective, 2. adjective, 3. period of time, 4. form of communication, 5. adjective, 6. expletive ending in –ing, 7. adjective describing size, 8. verb describing motion, past tense, 9. expletive ending in –ing, 10. adverb describing speed, 11. Christian denomination, 12. slang word for money, 13. adjective, 14. expletive, 15. alcoholic beverage, 16. name of a country, 17. type of rodent, possessive form, 18. body part, 19. slang term for money, 20. sport, 21. number, 22. emotion, 23. verb, 24. adjective describing size, 25. expletive ending in –ing, in all caps, 26. expletive, in all caps.

Well, [1] readers, I have [2] news! You see, about [3] ago, I received a(n) [4] from a(n) [5] agent at a big publishing house! I can’t tell you which one yet, due to the confidentiality clause, but it’s a(n) [6] [7] one! She liked my posts so much that she decided the only thing to do was offer me a book deal. Naturally, I [8] on that [9] [10]. To make a long story short, I’m going to be a published author! I know, I can’t believe it either. The only downside is this: I need to completely overhaul the content of my blog. Instead of writing somewhat off-color humor, I’ll instead be focusing on my convertsion to [11]. I know, I know, I’m an atheist, but anything for [12], am I right? So expect to see all the content of this blog disappear, because I’ll be replacing it with articles on [13] Christian living. There will, of course, be other changes. I won’t be able to use words like [14] any more, for one, and expect me to stop talking about drinking [15] on this site. I’m also in discussions with my attorney and agent to display photos of child from [16] and claim he’s mine. I’m pretty sure that’s not legal, but who gives a [17] [18] about that when I’m about to make the big [19]? They think it will mesh well with my other new focus: [20] blogging. I know it seems bizarre, but I really think I could convince [21] readers that I’m really into religion, parenthood and exercise. I mean, all I have to do is delete all of my post history and start a new internet identity! Don’t be too [22] about it, I’m sure you’ll just [23] my new style. Also, I have another [24] piece of news for you:


There now. April Fool’s taken care of, audience participation style.