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That last post totally lost me a follower. As in, I alienated someone by threatening to threaten to break someone’s shins in a post about children,* and they clicked “unfollow” on WordPress. Someone did not like that post. At all. Enough to unfollow me. Does this mean I’m officially “controversial” now?

You know that this means I’m in the big leagues. Let the insanity, egomania, and attention-whoring begin!**

* Note: I never actually threatened to break any children’s shins. I just strongly suggested that I might consider the possibility of breaking someone’s but did not necessarily specify an age range. Really, I left it up to the reader to decide what I meant, which really means: You thought I was talking about breaking a kid’s shins? You sicko. Christ, what’s wrong with you?
** Everything about this post is sarcasm, including the first footnote. Except for the unfollowing, that actually happened although it might have happened days ago. I only just noticed it after that post. And yes, it’s far more likely that they unfollowed me based on not finding me funny, but really I couldn’t resist making the joke. Just wait until I get my first negative comment.***
***Jesus, I’m beginning to think I need a special font for “making fun of the whole idea of blogging and the inherent narcissism that goes along with it, as well as people’s penchants to be really ridiculous on the internet.”****And yes, this is totally in the “Inadvisable Hobbies” category, because breaking people’s shins is an inadvisable hobby. And by “breaking people’s shins,” I mean “blogging.” Oh fine, I guess breaking people’s shins is an inadvisable hobby, too.*****
**** That would be one hell of a font. Science, after you sort out hovercars and jetpacks, I’ve got your next project lined up.
***** Unless they still owe you money. Then it’s just good business sense.