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I’ve already shared some of my greatest spam hits here and here, but I’ve since gotten two that are good enough to share. Behold.

From “Teresita Bernas” on the second post linked above:

“A lot of thanks for all your valuable work on this web site. Betty delights in making time for research and it is simple to grasp why. My partner and i hear all concerning the lively means you produce invaluable tips and tricks via your web blog and as well as improve participation from others on the situation so my daughter is certainly being taught a lot of things. Take pleasure in the remaining portion of the year. Your carrying out a fabulous job.”

Dear Ms. Bernas:

This sounds sort of complimentary, so thanks! Unfortunately, most of your comment is kind of… gibberish. I think that you mentioned your daughter is being taught a lot of things; I’m assuming this means things you – or she – have picked up via this blog? If that’s the case, I really hope she’s not a child. I’m far from the worst blog on the internet, but I probably swear more than is appropriate for children. So… She’s at least, say, thirteen, right?


PS – Who the fuck is Betty?

From “SINGER7470” on this post:

“First, reading this was like reading a child’s story. Secondly, Bethesda didn’t DEVELOP Fallout: New Vegas. And it’s fairly obvious they didn’t because it’s better than Fallout 3. I’ve played Skyrim and put over 75 hours into it. It’s a buggy, broken and unfinished garbage. Nobody is crying except for you. Sorry I upset your feelings over Skyrim. ? Calm down, learn some grammar and learn not to be a fanboy.”

Dear SINGER7470:

As you had multiple points, so shall I.

First of all, who pissed in your Cheerios?

Secondly, I’ve never heard of Fallout: Las Vegas and I’ve also never played Skyrim. Hell, I’ve never even seen Skyrim played. I doubt I’ve even seen a screenshot; although I love me some video games, I tend to avoid MMOs.* Add to this the fact that I don’t think I’ve even mentioned Skyrim or Fallout: Las Vegas (still not sure what the hell that one is) your comment is an appalling failure. Please learn to read before spamming.

Fuck you,

PS – You actually know how many hours you’ve played Skyrim? Yikes.

Editoral Note: Oh fuck I have the plague. By which I mean a mild head cold. Stupid toddlers and their stupid putting everything in their mouths.

*It has since been brought to my attention that Skyrim is not, in fact, an MMO, which just goes to show how cool I am because I don’t keep up with those nerdy video games and shit.