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Happy Thanksgiving, to all those (three) people who read this. Thanks for reading, thanks for commenting, and thanks for just general thankfulness stuff.

Now get the fuck off the internet, binge-eat some turkey and stuffing, and enjoy a raging drunk while watching the Lions lose to the Cowboys and listening to your racist great aunt explain how Thanksgiving was really created so that Native Americans could appreciate the fact that Europeans brought them “real clothes.” It’s the American way.