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So, for my more carefully constructed posts,* I tend to write them the night before and then edit and post in the morning. This generally works pretty well for me, but on occasion I have an absolute clusterfuck of a post that leaves me wondering what the hell happened when I do the editor thing over my morning tea. Yesterday’s post was one of them. After a few minutes of confusion, it occurred to me that at the time of the alleged post-writing I may have been engaging in that reckless and irresponsible behavior known as blogging while intoxicated.** I probably should have added in a “This Post Courtesy of Three Buck Chuck” tag, but unfortunately Trader Joe’s isn’t sponsoring my love of a cheap Cabernet Sauvignon buzz. Yet.

Of course, being underemployed, bored, and desperate to avoid writing another cover letter, I was immediately struck by what a grand idea it would be to spend my time making graphs about my drunken grammar issues in MS Paint instead of trying to be employed:

Marvel at the MS Paint skills.

This, naturally, led me to a few other experiments with graphing my tendencies while drinking, such as:

My tendency to become even more foul-mouthed than usual,

I didn't even count them in the last post.

My propensity to ignore common sense and have another glass,

Not an alcoholic, I swear

And, of course, the ability of the general public to understand my drunken rambling.

Damn right, it goes negative

Thankfully, I was able to mostly salvage the post. Don’t blog under the influence, kids. It just results in more work in the morning.***

*Oh, stop laughing, I do put some effort in. Sometimes.

** A more severe social faux pas than using the internet while intoxicated, but definitely less severe than drunk-dialing. Friendly advice: always know how low you’re willing to sink before you pick up the bottle!

*** I’m only one glass in tonight, thankyouverymuch.****