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So the past few days have been a weird, not-so-awesome blur. It’s a strange thing that seems to happen when I’m unemployed, because when you’re working you at least have weekends to break up the time. Unemployment makes me look up and go “What? It’s Thursday? But wasn’t Sunday yesterday?” And then there’s the sinking feeling that all that time passed without you getting a job and the life, it just drains out of you.

As a result, I have little to nothing in the way of wit, insight or wisdom for this page at the moment.* So, instead, I’m list-formatting this shit and we’ll be back on a Five Things tomorrow. We’ll pretend this week never happened, okay?

Bank of America, you make me worry

So I recently got a new credit card from Bank of America. Did I open another account? No. Apparently they’re “concerned about security” with several accounts (one of which is mine! Joy!) and have closed them and re-opened exact copies under different account numbers. This is not insipiring my confidence, Bank of America. I mean, yes, I’m glad you’re being careful, but still. Little nerve wracking. Especially since I have regular bank accounts with you and you did nothing to reassure me that those were okay, even though they’re tied to the credit card. Jesus.

Cooking is lame

I tried and failed to make pain au chocolat. For those of you unfamiliar, pain au chocolate is easily the worst thing that can ever happen to you in Paris. Not because it’s bad, oh no. It’s so fucking good, that’s the problem. Flaky croissant dough wrapped around dark chocolate. The big problem? Getting a good version of it in the US when you have funky reactions to soy is almost impossible. You have to make your own, which ain’t easy. I used puff pastry for my last batch, but I think I’m actually going to need to make real croissant dough. That’s an utter nightmare. I made croissants once when I was 14, and they were good but the butter leaked out freaking everywhere. I’m not looking forward to a repeat.

Travel at the worst time

Just when it’s starting to get pleasantly cold, I’m returning to the South for a week. I do not like plane travel, Sam I Am, however I’m sure the trip will be nice. This means I will be absent from this space for about 7 days starting on Wednesday. Don’t leave me, please!

*We’re pretending these are all qualities I have normally. Don’t burst my bubble.