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Normally, when someone mentions vertigo to me, I can launch pretty quickly into an explanation that while Sin City and The Dark Knight are excellent, they just don’t hold a candle to Sandman. (Neil Gaiman fangirl for life!) Unfortunately for me, Thursday morning I had to deal with the other kind of vertigo, the “please stop the room, I’d like to get off” kind. Every freaking time I rolled over (to the melodious strains of the sanders next door), the entire room would spin around like some sort of god-awful carnival ride. Did I mention I’ve never been a fan of the Tilt-a-Whirl? So after getting up and having the vertigo miraculously subside, I consulted Dr. Google and, equally miraculously, did not determine I had a terminal disease. My options are: 1) BPPV, which is thankfully pretty harmless, just majorly annoying, 2) an ear infection, which is less harmless and equally annoying, 3) a brain tumor, please no thank you. I’m currently sitting in my comfy armchair feeling very faintly dizzy and nauseated from whipping my head around in an attempt to dislodge the ear rocks that cause option 1, and if things aren’t looking better this afternoon I’ll be heading to a free clinic. Which brings me to the dual points of this post:

1) What the fuck kind of country do we live in that even though I have plenty of savings and I’m comfortable riding out close to a year of unemployment without worrying about rent or bills, I’m stuck worrying about the cost of a fucking walk-in clinic because the health insurance I pay a ridiculous amount for monthly is so shitty that I’m honestly worried someone will charge me around $100 or more to have someone look in my ear and say either “you need antibiotics” or “you don’t need antibiotics”? Seriously. My sympathy to any unemployed or uninsured people with chronic illnesses and parents with sick children – I would not want to be in your shoes ever.

2) You know what really bugs me (other than health insurance)? The fact that people mix up nauseated and nauseous. Nauseated is the state of feeling like you’ll puke. Nauseous is something that makes you want to puke. So, if you’re running around telling everyone you’re nauseous, don’t be surprised if people sidle away. This is right up there with screwing up “there,” they’re” and “their” to me.